I found out my daughter has been self harming herself?

I was a cutter, a while ago. People cut so the pain distracts us from the emotional pain we're feeling. It's a way of releasing bottled up emotions and emotional pain. Tom sounds like a good man, he could try talking to her if she feels comfortable around him. Night terrors are consistent with abuse, her mind is replaying all of the abuse so that it can comprehend what is happening/has happened. Find an adult that isn't you, I'm sorry but it has to be that way, that she finds herself trusting more than almost anyone else in the world. She may talk to them, ease into it, "how are you" "are you okay" "what's going on" none of these insinuate anything that may set her off, except if you ask her if she's okay too many times, she could lose it. A touchy temper is sometimes art of the cutting.